I Do Not Improvise In Heels.

Going From Crying To Laughing That Fast And Hard Happens Maybe Five Times In Your Life And That Extreme Right Turn Is The Reason Why We Are Alive, And I Believe It Extends Our Life By Many Years.

When Youre A Stay-at-home Mother You Have To Pretend Its Really Boring, But Its Not. Its Enriching And Fulfilling, And An Amazing Experience. And Then When Youre A Working Mother You Have To Pretend That You Feel Guilty All Day Long.

The Minute Anyone Makes You Feel Weird And Non-included Or Not Supported, You Know, Either Beat It Or Tell Them To Beat It.

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

Meryl Streep Is Not Here Tonight. She Has The Flu - And I Hear She's Amazing In It.