I Didn't Say No Because Between Safety

Confession Is A Sacred Rite Enhanced By Allegory, Exaggeration, And Lies.

Bp Ceo Tony Hayward Said Recently, 'no One Wants This Thing Over More Than I Do. I'd Like My Life Back.' Tony, I'm So Sorry You Had Your Summer Disrupted. I'd Buy You A Drink, But You'd Probably Spill That Too And Make Me Clean It Up.

There Is A New Bill In The Senate That Is Upsetting A Lot Of People. This Bill Would Give The President The Power To Shut Off The Internet. Al Gore Is Strongly Opposed To It. Not Because He Invented The Internet. Because He Did. But Because He Just Signed Up For Match.com.

I Have A Beard. Just Not On My Face.

These Days, Teachers Have It Rough. Kids Can Be Hyperactive, Disobedient, And Obnoxious. It Must Feel Like Being Locked In A Room Of Drunk Midgets.