I Come From A Very Critical Culture.

Don't Ever Rope Me In As A Late-night Talk Show Host. I Don't Want To Be One.

A New Study Says By 2030 Household Robots Will Dominate Every Phase Of Our Lives. The Study Says The No. 1 Field For Robot Growth Is Medicine. That Makes Sense. Robots Already Perform Well In Surgery. That Is, Until There Is A Power Outage. Then It's Just A Coat Rack Leaning Over You As You Bleed To Death.

I Said That The Only Way I Could Have A Band That Would Work In The Format Of My Show Is If The Band Were Crap. So If I Have A Band They'd Have To Really Suck.

From This Moment On I'd Dedicate My Life To Rock And Roll And Take As Many Drugs As Possible. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I Think Comedy As An Art Involves The Audience As A Participant As Much As Is Involves The Artist.