I Can't Tell My Conscience From My

Breaking Up: It's So Easy To Return Their Possessions, But So Hard To Get Our Brain Cells Back.

A Young Bride Can Put On Makeup At 6 In The Morning And Look Fabulous At Midnight. I Have About A 15-minute Window Where I Actually Look Good, And Then I Have To Wash My Face And Start Over.

Where's My Tax Form? Where's The File That's Supposed To Hold My W-2 Form And Interest Statement? Where's The Mileage Log I Specifically Asked Be Kept Last Year?? Where's The Monthly Check Summary? And Who's Been Stuffing Visa Receipts In The Aluminum Foil Drawer??!! How Embarrassing. I'm Surrounded By Idiots And I'm The Only One In The Office.

My Mother Had Always Taught Me To Write About My Feelings Instead Of Sharing Really Personal Things With Others, So I Spent Many Evenings Writing In My Diary, Eating Everything In The Kitchen And Waiting For Mr. Wrong To Call.

Men Should Come With Instruction Booklets.