I Can't Talk Politics With My Cousin

I Don't Think People Shouldn't Try To Be Edgy, But You Have To Take What The Audience Says To You In Consideration.

Every Night, My Girlfriend Comes Home From Work, And She Brings With Her A Houseplant. She's Like, 'anthony, I Had To Pick This Up. We Need A Houseplant In Our Apartment.' And Every Night, I Make Her Return It. I Say, 'no Way, Baby. You Can't Take Care Of A Houseplant. You Couldn't Even Keep Your Baby Alive.'

I Want To Marry The Kind Of Girl That Walks Out Of An Abortion Clinic With A Lollipop.

I Don't Get Back As Much As I'd Like To, So I Don't Have A Lot Of Close Ties [pittsburgh], But I'll Bleed Black And Gold Until I Die.

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.