I Can't Take A Well-tanned Person Seriously.

On Resigning As Collaborator On The Memoirs Of The Former Wallis Warfield Simpson, New Summaries, 6 October 1955. You Can't Make The Duchess Of Windsor Into Rebecca Of Sunnybrook Farm.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

There Are Only Two Ways Out For Animals At Pounds--being Adopted Or Being Killed. And Cats Have Such A Low Rate Of Adoption That Many Pounds, Even In Some Larger Cities, Don't Bother To Take Them In At All. Not For Nothing Is It Always The "dog Pound" And Never The "cat Pound.

I Detest Professional Anythings But Particularly Professional Writers. Most Of Them Today Are Just Garbage Collectors.

Relations Between The Sexes Are So Complicated That The Only Way You Can Tell If Members Of The Set Are Going Together Is If They Are Married. Then, Almost Certainly, They Are Not.