I Can't Predict The Future And I

My Grandfather Always Said, Don't Watch Your Money, Watch Your Health. So One Day While I Was Watching My Health, Someone Stole My Money. It Was My Grandfather.

While I Have The Utmost Respect For People Who Practice The Christian Faith, The Fact Is, As Everyone Knows, I Am As Jewish As A Matzo Ball Or Kosher Salami.

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.

I Regularly Sell Out More In England Than I Do In America.

Jews Are Told That They Should Spend Their Lives Helping Others And When They Make A Lot Of Money It Really Bothers Them. So, As A Way To Decrease Their Guilt, They Try To Help The Underdog. They Think, "why Should I Be Rich When So Many Suffer?" They Feel Better Once They Run To The Party That Claims To Defend The Underdog, The Democrats.