I Can't Believe It! Reading And Writing

Son, If You Really Want Something In Life, You Have To Work For It. Now Quiet, They're About To Announce The Lottery Numbers.

Your Cable Television Is Experiencing Difficulties. Please Do Not Panic. Resist The Temptation To Read Or Talk To Loved Ones. Do Not Attempt Sexual Relations, As Years Of Tv Radiation Have Left Your Genitals Withered And Useless.

Most Tv Shows Don't Reward You For Paying Attention.

You Know, The Courts May Not Be Working Any More, But As Long As Everyone Is Videotaping Everyone Else, Justice Will Be Done.

How Can I Be Expected To Love Someone Who Tries Such Crude Manipulations As Bringing Me Breakfast In Bed?