I Can Whistle With My Fingers, Especially

I Went To The Store And Bought Eight Apples; The Clerk Said, "do You Want These In A Bag?" I Said, "oh, No, Man, I Juggle."

I Went To A Pizzeria. The Guy Gave Me The Smallest Slice Possible. If The Pizza Was A Pie Chart With What Would You Do If You Found A Million Dollars, He Gave Me The "donate It To Charity" Slice. "i'd Like To Exchange This For The 'keep It!'"

If You Find Yourself Lost In The Woods, Build A House. "well, I Was Lost, But Now I Live Here!"

I Saw A Human Pyramid Once. It Was Very Unnecessary. It Did Not Need To Exist.

What Am I Drinking? Nyquil On The Rocks, For When You're Feeling Sick But Sociable.