I Can Hardly Wait Until Donald Trump

Do You Remember The Good Ol' Days When Congress Was Only Unsafe If You Were An Intern.

Moammar Gadhafi Was Found Hiding In A Storm Sewer With A Gold-plated Gun. That's Me In Retirement, Ladies And Gentlemen.

I Was Christmas Shopping And Ran Into A Guy On The Street. I Noticed His Watch And Said That It Runs Slow. He Said, "so Does The Guy I Stole It From."

Yesterday Was Chinese New Year. It's The Year Of The Rabbit. And Here's How Dumb I Am. I'm Still Writing The Year Of The Pig On My Checks.

Happy Birthday To Evil North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un. He Gathered Family And Friends Together And Celebrated By Executing A Few Close Friends.