I Can Hardly Wait Until Donald Trump

Sarah Palin Is Joining Fox News. The New Slogan Is 'hair And Unbalanced.'

The Candidates At The Republican Debate Looked Like A Town Council That Was Outlawing Dancing. They Looked Like A Board Of Directors That Was Lying About Poisoning A River.

Because Utah Is Largely Mormon Country, The Firing Squad's A Little Different. You're Blindfolded But No Cigarette.

Don't Forget It's Daylight Savings Time. You Spring Forward, Then You Fall Back. It's Like Robert Downey Jr. Getting Out Of Bed.

You Know You've Had Too Much To Eat For Christmas Dinner When You Slump Down Onto A Beanbag And Realize... There Is No Beanbag.