I Call My Balls The Bush Twins.

I Kind Of Put Myself Out There As Is. I'm A Quiet Person. I Don't Know If That's Surprising. I'm A Pilates Junkie.

Actually, I Used To Be A Busboy In A Strip Joint In New York And So I Hate Strip Joints. I'm Not That Kind Of Person.

Four Years Ago On This Very Day I Tried To Take My Own Life. And I Said, "zach, Do It In Front Of Your Co-workers And End The Misery." I Don't Know How Many Of You Ever Tried To Jump Off Of A Pizza Hut, But You'll Just Get A Sprained Ankle Out Of The Deal. Then You'll Have To Go Back Inside, And Serve Crazy Bread.

My Dad Doesn't Get Any Of My Jokes. He Laughs At Them, But He Doesn't Understand Them. He's Just Laughing Because People Around Him Are Laughing.

The Word Abbreviation Sure Is Long For What It Means.