I Call My Balls The Bush Twins.

I Watch A Happy Person Doing Stand-up, And I Go, "what The Hell Is This? This Person's Happy!" You Need Internal Conflict. You Need The Guy To Be Out Of Step With Society. It's A Tool For Comedy.

If You Read My Blog, You Know I'm A Pilates Freak. And By Pilates, I Mean Waffles.

When You Look Like I Do Its Hard To Get A Table For One At Chucky Cheese.

I Dream Of Moving To India, Or Pakistan, And Becoming A Cabdriver.

My Girlfriend Looks A Little Like Charlize Theron...and A Lot Like Patrick Ewing.