I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing

Before You Get Married You Should Meet Your Fiance's Parents. It Is Not Enough That You Like His Parole Officer.

The Only Parts Left Of My Original Body Are My Elbows.

When Buying A New House ... Buy The House Far Enough Away From School So Your Kids Can't Come Home For Lunch.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

If It Weren't For Baseball, Many Kids Wouldn't Know What A Millionaire Looked Like.