I Bought A Hummer Before I Bought

I Started Riding The Whole 'fluffy' Train, And It's A Cute Word And Socially A Lot More Acceptable Than Someone Saying Is Fat Or Obese. If You Call A Girl 'fat,' Yo, She'll Raise Hell, But If You Say, 'aw Girl, Look At You, You're Fluffy,' There's Almost A Sexy Appeal To It.

In The Beginning, When I Was Doing My Shows, I Was Incorporating A Lot Of Spanish, Just Trying To Be A Latino Comic Instead Of Just A Comic. Now I Try To Make The Show As Broad As Possible... I Don't Want To Alienate People. I Want To Make It So Everybody Can Follow Along And Everybody Can Relate.

You Know What I Learned About Hawaiians? They're Just Blown Up Mexicans!

The Only Way I Will Do A Sitcom Is If It's Hurled At Me, And I Don't Have To Work For It.

I Don't Want To Die Tomorrow Knowing I Could've Had A Piece Of Cake Tonight.