I Ate One Anchovy, And That Is

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

I Was Walking Down The Street With My Friend And He Said 'i Hear Music,' As Though There's Any Other Way To Take It In. 'you're Not Special. That's How I Receive It Too... I Tried To Taste It, But It Did Not Work'.

I Walked By A Dry Cleaner At 3 Am, And There Was A Sign: "sorry, We're Closed" You Don't Have To Be Sorry, It's 3 Am, And You're A Dry Cleaner! It Would Be Ridiculous For Me To Expect You To Be Open! I'm Not Gonna Walk In At 10 Am And Say "i Walked By Here At 3 And You Were Closed - Somebody Owes Me An Apology!"

I Put Fruit On Top Of My Waffles, Because I Want Something To Brush Off.

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same.