I Am One Of The Funniest People

Dogs Are Great Assets To Candidates, And The Feeling Seems To Be Engendered That If A Dog Loves The Candidate, He Can't Be All That Bad.

Every Holiday On The Calendar, I Check In A Hotel And Fast - I Don't Eat, I Don't Drink, I Don't Talk.

I Feel That The Same God-force That Is The Mother And Father Of The Pope Is Also The Mother And Father Of The Loneliest Wino On The Planet.

Eating Liver Out Of A Cow's Body Is Like Eating The Filter Out Of A Car.

My Mother Was The Sweetest Lady Who Ever Lived On This Planet, But If You Tried To Tell Her That Jesus Wasn't A Christian, She Would Stomp You To Death.