I Also Try To Think Of Ways

There Is Also A Kind Of Mean-spiritedness With La Comics.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.

I Was In Antwerp - Which, I Had About 20 Shows Left At That Point - And A Guy Said, "that's Dave Attell's." Also, Antwerp Was My Smallest Audience, So The Guy Was Right There. I Was Like, "what?" He Said, "dave Attell Does A Bit About, 'why Are There Luggage Stores In The Airport?'" I Had Never Seen That, And I Would Never Ever, Ever, Ever - Please Believe Me - I Would Never Lift Material From Somebody Ever, And Certainly Not Knowingly.

In New York, You Are Constantly Faced With This Very Urgent Decision That You Have To Make, About Every Twenty Minutes...you Have To Decide, Immediately, You Have To Go "ohmigod. Do I Look At The Most Beautiful Woman In The World Or The Craziest Guy In The World?"

I Stand By Everything I Said. I Absolutely Can Defend My Material, And I Take Issue With People Who Say, "it's Just Shock Value. It's Not Even Funny." I Disagree. There's Different Ways To Be Funny And To Be A Comedian.