I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me

I Used To Have Horrible Cars That Would Always End Up Broken Down On The Highway. When I Tried To Flag Someone Down, Nobody Stopped. But If I Pushed My Own Car, Other Drivers Would Get Out And Push With Me. If You Want Help, Help Yourself - People Like To See That.

There Are Only Three Things Women Need In Life: Food, Water, And Compliments.

A Black Christian Is Like A Black Person With No Memory.

Every Comedian Has A Moment In His Life When He Realizes He's A Little Bit Different From Everyone Else. It's Like Being The Only Guy In A Movie Who Sees The Ghost. The Ghost Talks To You And You Talk To Him. Then You Turn To Your Friend And Say, "hey. Do You See That Ghost? And He Says, What Ghost?"

Whenever I Go Out With Other Married Couples, I Like To Bring Along A Single Crackhead. Just To Spice Things Up.