Humorists Can Never Start To Take Themselves

Do I Have To Use My Own Money?

There Is Nothing More Miserable In The World Than To Arrive In Paradise And Look Like Your Passport Photo.

Someone Once Threw Me A Small, Brown, Hairy Kiwi Fruit, And I Threw A Wastebasket Over It Until It Was Dead.

Most Mothers Entering The Labor Market Outside The Home Are Naive. They Stagger Home Each Evening, Holding Mail In Their Teeth, The Cleaning Over Their Arm, A Lamb Chop Defrosting Under Each Armpit, Balancing Two Gallons Of Frozen Milk Between Their Knees, And Expect One Of The Kids To Get The Door.

I Worry About Scientists Discovering That Lettuce Has Been Fattening All Along.