Hot Off The Presses, Today’s Headlines: The

A Place To Keep All Your Secrets

When I Dream, I Dream Of Him. For Several Nights Now He’s Come To Me, Waving From A Distant Shore As If He’s Been Waiting Patiently For Me To Arrive. He Doesn’t Utter A Word, But His Smile Says Everything: I’ve Missed You.

He Frowns. "a Dance With The Carnivorous Felicity? Why? Has She Eaten All The Other Available Gentlemen?

...i Think We Should Find Some Kind Of Shelter; A Cave Or Something." "i Don't Want To Do That! What If There's Like, A Creature Living In The Cave?" Tiara Said. "seriously, I Saw This Show Once Where These People Were Stranded On An Island And There Were These Other People Who Were Sort Of Crazy-slash-bad And There Was This Polar Bear Creature Running Around." "what Happened?" Miss Ohio Asked. "i Don't Know. My Parents Got Divorced In The Middle Of Season Two And We Lost Our Tivo.

Dammit!" "what?" Gonzo Sounds Panicked. "we're Out Of Gas." "you're Shithenging Me." "i Shithenge You Not.