Honey, What Happened To "ladies First"? Husband

Guess Who's Running For President? Jeb Bush. Jeb Was Governor Of Florida And He Speaks Fluent Spanish, Which Raises The Question: What Language Did His Brother Speak? What Was That?

I Think The Number One Public-relations Blunder Osama Has Made Is That He Lives In A Cave-fortress And If There's One Thing We've Learned From It's That You Can't Trust A Guy Who Lives In A Cave-fortress -- Lex Luther, Captain Nemo, Dr. Evil. I'm Telling You The List Goes On.

Last Month Mitt Romney Raised $76 Million. He Found It In An Old Sport-coat Pocket.

Newt Gingrich Is Against Same-sex Marriage. Well, Actually, He's Against Same-marriage Sex.

Mary Keitany From Kenya Won The Women's Race At The New York City Marathon. You Can Tell She Was Fast Because Guys On The Street Didn't Even Have Time To Finish Their Catcalls.