Honey, Some Boys Stopped By To See

And I Like A Good Horror Story As Much As The Next Person So Long As They Kill Off Some Men Too And Not Just Girls. But The Voices Joan Heard Were Real. There’s Clear And Substantiated Proof They Were Real.

In A Way, I Was Incredibly Proud Of Her (not That I Had Any Intention Of Letting It Show While I Was Beating The Crap Out Of Her).

We Were A Very Funny Family. Humour Was The Tool With Which My Brother And I Tried To Get Attention. We Were Always Trying To Be The Funniest.

This Was Very Exciting. I'd Never Had Two Boys Get Into A Fight Over Me Before. The Fact That One Of The Boys Was My Stepbrother, However, And Held About As Much Romantic Appeal For Me As Max, The Family Dog, Somewhat Dampened My Enthusiasm. And Michael Wasn't Much Of A Catch, Either, When You Actually Thought About It, Being A Potential Murderer And All. Oh, Why Did I Have To Have Such A Couple Of Losers Fighting Over Me? Why Couldn't Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Fight Over Me? Now That Would Be Truly Excellent.

Hope Springs Eternal, Even In The Heart Of A Fat Girl.