Honesty Is Hard Work.

And There's This Place Called College! I Mean, They Want You To Care, Dig It, Care About This Education Trip, And They Don't Care Enough Themselves To Make It As Attractive As The Crap Game Across The Street!

Euphemisms Are For The Differently Brained.

Shared Joy Is Increased, Shared Pain Is Lessened.

If You've Lived A Bad Life, They Send You To Hell. But If You've Been Truly Wicked, They Give You A Tour Of Heaven First.

We Did Make Use, From Time To Time, Of Candles, Neckties, Scarves, Shoelaces, A Little Water-color Paintbrush, Her Hairbrush, Butter, Whipped Cream, Strawberry Jam, Johnson’s Baby Oil, My Swedish Hand Vibrator, A Fascinating Bead Necklace She Had, Miscellaneous Common Household Items, And Every Molecule Of Flesh That Was Exposed To Air Or Could Be Located With Strenuous Search.