Here's A Bumper Sticker I'd Like To

Standing Ovations Have Become Far Too Commonplace. What We Need Are Ovations Where The Audience Members All Punch And Kick One Another.

The Women Who Line Up At A Comic's Dressing-room Door Are Not What You'd Call Your Class Groupies.

Sometimes, When I Was Really Loaded, I'd Sit On The Floor And Sort Out Every Nut And Bolt In The House. It Was Just Sheer Insanity. And Often There'd Be Speed In The Cut, So I Was A Speed Freak, Too.

The Truth Is, Pavlov's Dog Trained Pavlov To Ring This Bell Just Before The Dog Salivated.

It's All Bullshit, Folks And It's Bad For Ya.