Hell Hath No Fury Like A Liberal

You Hear Entertainers All The Time, Saying, 'if I Couldn't Get Paid For This, I'd Do It For Free.' When's The Last Time You Ever Heard A Business Person Say, 'if I Couldn't Get Paid For Being Chairman Of British Petroleum, I'd Do It For Free'?

I Never Believed In Santa Claus Because I Knew No White Dude Would Come Into My Neighborhood After Dark.

If It Wasn't For Abe Lincoln, I'd Still Be On The Open Market.

We Thought I Was Going To Be A Great Athlete, And We Were Wrong, And I Thought I Was Going To Be A Great Entertainer, And That Wasn't It Either. I'm Going To Be An American Citizen. First Class.

That's Easy, To Stand In A Nightclub, Where Most Of The People That Come In, They Came To See You.