I Consider Myself Always A Humorist. And

If They Took All The Drugs, Nicotine, Alcohol And Caffeine Off The Market For Six Days, They'd Have To Bring Out The Tanks To Control You.

I Chose To Be An Agitator. And There's One Interesting Thing About Being An Agitator - And I Tell People - The Next Time You Put Your Underwear In The Washing Machine, Take The Agitator Out, And All You're Going To End Up With Is Some Dirty, Wet Drawers.

Black Folks Tell Their Kids They Have To Be Twice As Good As A White Person? Well, If I Tell A Child Of Mine That, Or That They Have To Be Careful - That This Is What A Cop Would Do If You Do This - They Think Something Is Wrong With Them. I Tell Them Death Is Better.

And We Love To Dance, Especially That New One Called The Civil War Twist. The Northern Part Of You Stands Still While The Southern Part Tries To Secede.

You Got To Die Of Something Because If You Die Of Nothing, They Won't Pay Your Insurance.