Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be

Happiness Is Discovering The Prune Juice Your Doctor Ordered You To Drink Has Fermented.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

Never Continue In A Job You Don't Enjoy. If You're Happy In What You're Doing, You'll Like Yourself, You'll Have Inner Peace. And If You Have That, Along With Physical Health, You Will Have Had More Success Than You Could Possibly Have Imagined.

I'm An Entertainer, Not A Commentator. If You're A Comedian Your Job Is To Make People Laugh.

The Good News Is That The President Gets Another Chance. The Bad News Is That He'll Be Two Weeks Older.