Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be

Pie Throwing Is Kind Of A Lost Art, And Although It May Be A Rather Rudimentary, Burlesque Humor, There's Something Inherently Funny About Taking A Pie In The Face, Under The Right Conditions.

The Worst Gift Is A Fruitcake. There Is Only One Fruitcake In The Entire World, And People Keep Sending It To Each Other.

Never Use A Big Word When A Little Filthy One Will Do.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.

Some Sad News From Australia... The Inventor Of The Boomerang Grenade Died Today.