He Opened A Window In My Heart,

Hillary Clinton Is Driving Across Iowa In A Van. It's To Get To Know The People She'll Never, Ever See Again In Her Life.

Have You Been Following The Big Oil Spill In The Gulf Of Mexico? Or As We Call It Now, The Dead Sea.

All Comedians Are Preoccupied With One Thing And With One Thing Only-themmm-selllves. It's A Horrible Lot In Life.

President Obama Has Two Years Left As President. I Wouldn't Be Surprised If He Gets To Appoint Two New Kardashian Husbands.

Night Clubs Scare Me. They're Dark And They Stink And They're Dangerous And Everybody's Drunk.