He Is The Cheese To My Macaroni.

Stripping Toughened My Hide, But Exposing Myself As A Writer Has Been A Lot More Brutal.

Thanks A Heap Coyote Ugly. This Cactus-gram Stings Worse Than Your Abandonment.

These Days, The Rolling Stones Still Have An Edge, But That Fangs-out Ferocity Has Mellowed Considerably.

Gas Attendant: "thata Ain't No Etch-a-sketch. Thats One Doodle That Can't Be Un-did Home Skillet.

The Fashion Industry Isn't Merely Content To Encase My Meaty Flanks In Skintight Denim. Oh, No! That Denim Also Has To Be White, A Color That Attracts Ketchup, Wine, Garlic Aioli, And Any Other Foodstuffs I Might Otherwise Be Able To Enjoy If I Wasn't Wearing Ridiculously Tight Pants.