Having A 2 Year Old Is Like

You Have To Motivate Yourself With Challenges. That's How You Know You're Still Alive.

Comedy Is Just Complaining In An Entertaining Way, Enterplaining.

Pay Attention; Don't Let Life Go By You. Fall In Love With The Back Of Your Cereal Box.

We Got The Hot Fudge On The Bottom.... That Allows You To Control The Fudge Distribution While You're Eating Your Ice Cream.

Everything Is In How You Are Going To Handle It. As A Lifelong Nightclub Comic, I'm Ready To Handle Whatever I Have To Handle.