Happy White Peoples Independence Day The Slaves

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.

For Me, Anything Goes When I Pick Up A Mike. I'm Not Trying To Hurt People - I Try Not To Get Too Personal - But I Look At Myself As A Reporter. If You Can Report On Anything That Has To Do With Pop Culture, Then Why Can't I Make Jokes About It? Yes, It Hurts. But I Figure That Laughter Sometimes Starts From Pain. You Might Wince, But Then I Know That I'm Doing My Job. The Only Thing I Can Do Wrong Is Not Be Funny.

Black History Month Is In The Shortest Month Of The Year, And The Coldest-just In Case We Want To Have A Parade

I'll Probably Pay More Attention To The Musicians In The Pit Than The Stars Because They're The Closest You're Going To Get To Normal People In The Audience.

If You Told Me Two Years I Would Miss The Greatest Basketball Game Ever To Hang Out With Nathan Lane, I'd Say, 'you're Crazy!'