Guess What, Martin Luther King? I Had

I First Did Stand-up When I Was 17, And Then I Passed Out Fliers For A Comedy Club (in New York City) And I Got Onstage Whenever I Could. And Musical Theater Went Out The Window As Soon As I Started Doing Stand-up.

As Soon As A Women Gets To An Age Where She Has Opinions And She's Vital And She's Strong, She's Systematically Shamed Into Hiding Under A Rock.

I Got Jury Duty And I Didn't Want To Go, So My Friend Said, "you Should Write Something Really Really Racist On The Form When You Return It. Like, You Should Put 'i Hate Chinks'." And I Said, "i'm Not Going To Put That On There Just To Get Out Of Jury Duty. I Don't Want People To Think That About Me." So Instead I Wrote, "i Love Chinks." And Who Doesn't?

The Audience Works As Such A Mob. They Either All Laugh Or All Don't Laugh, And, You Know, Changes From Audience To Audience.

I've Always Kept My Overhead Low So I Could Do Whatever I Want. I Think Of Myself As Lazy With Spurts Of Getting A Lot Done. I Find Myself Rooting Against Things Sometimes Because I Get Excited At The Thought Of A Clean Slate.