Great Humorists Are Great Insulters.

Electronic Devices Dislike Me. There Is Never A Day When Something Isn't Ailing.

It's Lamented That The Youth Get Their News From Jon Stewart And Stephen Colbert. It's Lamentable That They Get More From Them Than From The News.

Every Time I Nostalgically Try To Regain My Liking Of John Mccain, He Reaches Into His Sleaze Bag And Pulls Out Something Malodorous.

I'm Not Sure Why Writing For Others Became Harder. Probably A Reluctance To Give Away Anything You Might Conceivably Use Yourself Caused A Block. I Did It, But It Remained Hard When It Had Once Been Easy.

When I'm Doing An Appearance Somewhere And Taking Questions From The Audience, I Can Always Count On: 'tell About The Guy Who Died On Your Show!'