You Would Have To Be Naive To

Every Time Someone Says, 'you Know, We Really Ought To Get Together,' If I Were Really Honest, I Would Ask 'why?'

I Have Yet To See One Of Those Comedy Central Shows With Multiple Standup Comics That Doesn't Include Someone The Size Of The Hindenburg.

I'm Sure I've All But Lost Friends By Maintaining That, Despite Their Love For It, I Always Saw Stanley Kramer's 'it's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' As More Of An Exercise In Anti-comedy Than Humor.

The Idea That Hunting Is One Against One Is Ludicrous. It's One Animal Versus The Hunter, The Manufacturer Of The Rifle, The Bullet Maker, The Designer And Manufacturer Of The Telescopic Sight, The Auto Manufacturer Who Made The Car The Hunter Got To The Edge Of The Wild In, The Maker Of His Waterproof Shoes, The Various Manufacturers Of His Mittens, Glasses, Overcoat - And That's Only The Beginning Of The List. The "sportsman" Who Shoots An Animal Should Then Make A Speech, Like The Actor Who Wins An Oscar Does, Thanking The Multitudes Behind The Scenes Who Made This "victory" Possible.

My Dream Was Maybe Someday, One Night I Can Be A Guest On A Talk Show, And Then I Will Have Achieved Everything I Want.