Good Luck Finding A Place To Park

Someone Did A Study Of The Three Most-often-heard Phrases In New York City. One Is "hey Taxi." Two Is "what Train Do I Take To Get To Bloomingdales?" And Three Is "don't Worry, It's Only A Flesh Wound.

The Candidates At The Republican Debate Looked Like A Town Council That Was Outlawing Dancing. They Looked Like A Board Of Directors That Was Lying About Poisoning A River.

A Small Handgun Makes Any Tv Remote Control.

I Want To Tell You Though, I'm Having The Absolute Best Birthday Ever. Last Night -- This Was So Sweet, It Means A Great Deal To Me -- The Other Cult Members Got Together And They All Took Me Out To See Star Wars.

Now There Are Reports That Osama Bin Laden Would Like To Commit Suicide On Television. This Is The Kind Of Lead-in I Have Been Praying For Every Since I Came To Cbs. Bin Laden Is Planning A Televised Suicide Or, As I Call It, Hosting The Academy Awards.