God Works In Mysterious Ways But At

America Used To Live By The Motto "father Knows Best." Now We're Lucky If "father Knows He Has Children." We've Become A Nation Of Sperm Donors And Baby Daddies.

It's Like Boxing A Glacier. Enjoy That Metaphor, By The Way, Because Your Grandchildren Will Have No Idea What A Glacier Is.

Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.

The Liberal Gluten-free Agenda Is Turning Our Dogs Lesbian.

Women Don't Want All That. Women Just Want A Partner Who Is Considerate And Attentive, Who Will Spoon With Them While Reciting Keats, And Feed Them Organic Yogurt By Candlelight On A Seaside Cliff At Sunset.