God Is Like A Shitty Girlfriend.

I Don't Think Women Are Better Than Men, I Think Men Are A Lot Worse Than Women.

I Like Being Full, Every Day, With Stuff That I Have To Do.

I'm A Good Citizen. I'm A Good Father. I Recycle And I Masturbate.

My Last Name Is Szekely. Sounds Like Saykay. When I Was A Little Kid I Had An Instructor In Camp Who Called Me Shnizneckely. He Would Make Fun Of My Name And It Hurt My Feelings Because I Was A Little Pussy And I Cried. He Said, 'well, How Do You Say It?' I Said, Seekay. So He Wrote 'c.k' On My Jersey And Everything. He Made My Name 'c.k' And I Just Stuck With It.

I Like Pressure. Pressure Doesn't Make Me Crack. It's Enabling. I Eat Pressure, And There Might Be Times When I Get A Bad Feeling In My Gut That This Might Be Too Much, But You Feel Pressure When You're Not Doing Something, You Know?