Getting Old Is Not For Sissies.

I Wouldn't Piss On Joan Crawford If She Were On Fire.

I'd Marry Again If I Found A Man Who Had Fifteen Million Dollars, Would Sign Over Half To Me, And Guarantee That He'd Be Dead Within A Year.

I Wanted To Be The First To Win Three Oscars, But Miss Hepburn Has Done It. Actually It Hasn't Been Done. Miss Hepburn Only Won Half An Oscar. If They'd Given Me Half An Oscar I Would Have Thrown It Back In Their Faces. You See, I'm An Aries. I Never Lose.

If You've Never Been Hated By Your Child, You've Never Been A Parent.

If Men Found Out How To Give Birth To Children They'll Never Propose Again.