George W. Bush Says He Spends Sixty

Arnold Schwarzenegger Made His Tax Returns Public, [and] Now There's A Problem About Him Stretching The Truth. Apparently Under Occupation He Put Down 'actor.'

The L.a. Times Reports That Al Qaeda Terrorists Have Been Traced To Iran, And President Bush Is Talking Tough. In Fact He Said He Will Attack The Minute He Has Evidence His Approval Rating Is Under 45 Percent.

Bush Reiterated His Stand To Conservatives Opposing His Decision On Stem Cell Research. He Said Today He Believes Life Begins At Conception And Ends At Execution.

Speaker John Boehner Complained That Barack Obama Ordered The U.s. Military Into Combat In Libya Without Clearly Defining The Mission To The American People And Congress. See, Apparently, You're Only Allowed To Do That When Invading Iraq.

Congratulations To The Italian People For Winning The World Cup. ... They Won After France's Best Player Got Ejected For Head Butting. That's The Closest Anyone In A French Uniform Has Come To Combat In 60 Years.