If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be

Scotland Has The Only Football Team In The World That Does A Lap Of Disgrace.

I Think My Securities Far Outweigh My Insecurities. I Am Not Nearly As Afraid Of Myself And My Imagination As I Used To Be.

And Then There Was My Mate Who'd Just Been Fitted With A Brand New Hearing Aid. "it's The Best In The World", He Said. "what Type Is It?", I Asked And He Said "ten Past Twelve".

My Advice To You, If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight: Don't Eat Anything That Comes In A Bucket. Buckets Are The Kitchen Utensils Of The Farmyard.

Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job. I Don't Come To Your Workplace And Tell You How To Sweep Up.