Funny That All Of Nixon's Crimes -

In This Country Your Guilty Until Proven Wealthy.

Obama Is Not A Secret Kenyon, Or A Secret Muslim, He's A Secret Republican.

People Have To Stop Saying That Just Because Someone Is An Anti-gay Activist They Might Be Gay. They're Definitely Gay!!

When Those Myths Were Created, When The Bible Was Written, Man Didn't Know What An Atom Or A Germ Was, Or Where The Sun Went At Night, Or Why The Women Got Pregnant. [laughs.] They Needed Stories To Answer The Questions.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Is In Intensive Care. He's Suffering From A Severe Case Of Pancreatitis, Which They Can't Really Figure Out Because He's Not Really A Drinker. They Think He Might Have Picked Up Some Type Of Infection While Wiping His Ass With The Bill Of Rights.