The Earth Without Art Is Just Eh.

Whenever I'm On My Computer, I Don't Type 'lol'. I Type 'lqtm' - Laugh Quietly To Myself. It's More Honest.

Americans Who Do Not Celebrate Independence Day: Pets.

Someday I Will Tell My Grandchildren That I Lived In The Era When Ok Was Abbreviated To K.

If You Happen To Catch On Fire During The Show, Do Not Panic Or Wave Your Arms Around Or Scream Or We Wil Give Something To Panic And Wave You Arms Around And Scream About.

I Think There's A Difference Between Making Comedy And Reporting Comedy. When You're A Joke Teller You Can Easily Fall Into The Second, You Can Show Up And Just Say The Jokes.