For Me, The Past Is Dead. Can't

My Sophomore English Teacher Encouraged Me To Write For The School Paper, And That's What Got Me Started. Suddenly It Struck Me That Being A Writer Could Be A Romantic And Adventurous Position. Previously, I Had Thought I Would Be A Tennis Pro, Giving Lessons At A Local Club. I Thought That Would Be A Good Life, And It Might Have Been.

Personally, I've Never Had It As A Goal In Life To Be Happy. Seems Impossible To Achieve. Even The Declaration Of Independence Seems To Acknowledge This. They Talk About The Pursuit Of Happiness, Not Happiness Itself.

Oh, God, I Don't Know What's More Difficult, Life Or The English Language.

I Don't Really Recognise Success. I Don't See Myself As On An Upwardly Mobile Trajectory. I See Myself As On The Edge Of A Cliff About To Fall Off.

I Live For Coincidences. They Briefly Give To Me The Illusion Or The Hope That There's A Pattern To My Life, And If There's A Pattern, Then Maybe I'm Moving Toward Some Kind Of Destiny Where It's All Explained.