Folks, I Don't Trust Children. They're Here

Cameras Are Dangerous. With No Waiting Period Or Background Check, Any Whack-job Could Just Stroll Into A Wal-mart And Walk Out With A Semi-automatic. Now, For Years I've Been Pressing For Stricter Regulations On Cameras, Especially Around Our Elected Officials. Too Many Political Lives Have Been Cut Short By Some Crazed Shooter.

One Day,i Might Be Able To Tell My Grandkids I Interviewed The Last President Of The United States.

I've Got Butterflies In My Stomach... Because I Ate A Cocoon Quesadilla!

In The Beginning, God Created The Heaven And The Earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, But It’s Not “in The Beginning, A Monkey Evolutioned Gay Marriage.

Every Night On My Show, The Colbert Report, I Speak Straight From The Gut, Okay? I Give People The Truth, Unfiltered By Rational Argument. I Call It "the No Fact Zone.