Festivus For The Restivus!

I Don't Want To Hear The Specials. If They're So Special, Put 'em On The Menu.

Boy, I Miss The Days They Made Toys That Could Kill A Kid.

I See Tv Ads About Detergents That Can Get Blood Stains Out Of Your Cloths. I Say If You Have Blood Stains On Your Cloths You Should Be Thinking About Something Other Than Laundry.

There's No Way That Moving In With Your Parents Is A Sign That Your Life Is On Track.

I Know I'm Not Going To Understand Women. I'll Never Understand How You Can Take Boiling Hot Wax, Pour It Onto Your Upper Thigh, Rip The Hair Out By The Root, And Still Be Afraid Of A Spider.