Everything You Learn Becomes A Shortcut For

I'm Not Happy On Vacation. In Those Rare Times When I Have Three Hours With No Work I Have To Do, I'm Terribly Uncomfortable.

If You Haven't Already Told Your Kids 'don't Fellate The President' Then You're Probably A Bad Parent.

To The Engineer, All Matter In The Universe Can Be Placed Into One Of Two Categories: (1) Things That Need To Be Fixed, And (2) Things That Will Need To Be Fixed After You've Had A Few Minutes To Play With Them. If There Are No Problems Handily Available, They Will Create Their Own Problems. Normal People Don't Understand This Concept; They Believe That If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It. Engineers Believe That If It Ain't Broke, It Doesn't Have Enough Features Yet.

I Never Knew What An Engineer Did For A Living When I Was A Kid. I Still Don't.

It's Hard To Argue With The Government. Remember, They Are They Run The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco And Firearms, So They Must Know A Thing Or Two About Satisfying Women.