Everything I Have, I Owe To Baseball

If You Don't Root For The Dodgers, You Might Not Get Into Heaven.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

You Can Wake Up Every Day And Make Today Better Than The Last.

Everything I Have, I Owe To Baseball And The Dodgers.

He (darryl Strawberry) Is Not A Dog; A Dog Is Loyal And Runs After Balls.