Every Obnoxious Fan Has A Wife At

I Went Into A Restaurant One Night And Ordered Lobster, And The Waiter Brought Me One With A Claw Missing. I Called Him Over And Told Him About It. He Told Me That In The Back There's A Tank They Keep The Lobsters In And While They're In There, They Fight And Sometimes One Loses A Claw. I Told Him 'then Bring Me A Winner.'

God Didn't Miss Any Of Us.

Winning Is Only Important In War And Surgery.

You Can Always Tell The Catholic Schools By The Length Of The Cheerleaders' Skirts.

I Let Ballplayers Yell Back At Me Because I Wasn't Trying To Prove I'm Boss. I Know I'm Boss.