Every Day People Are Straying Away From

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

I'm Not A Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

I Was Surprised When Nixon Passed The Test And Showed Up In Heaven, But, I Guess Hitler Threw Off The Curve For Our Century.

I Want To Perform An Unnatural Act.

Guys Are Like Dogs. They Keep Comin' Back. Ladies Are Like Cats. Yell At A Cat One Time, They're Gone.