Every Day Of My Adult Life, I

Picture It In Your Mind's Nostril: You Get In A Cab In Time To Catch Twin Thugs Named Vomit And Cologne Assaulting A Defenseless Pine-tree Air Freshener.

When It Seems Impossible That A Deep Connection With Another Person Could Just Go Away Instead Of Changing Form. It Seems Impossible That You Will One Day Look Up And Say The Words "i Used To Date Someone Who Lived In That Building," Referring To A Three-year Relationship. As Simple As If It Was A Pizza Place That Is Now A Dry Cleaner's. It Happens. Keep Walking.

The Year Most Of My High School Friends And I Got Our Driver's Permits, The Coolest Thing One Could Do Was Stand Outside After School And Twirl One's Car Keys Like A Lifeguard Whistle. That Jingling Sound Meant Freedom And Power.

Unless You Are A Professional, You Will Find The Tart To Be A High-maintenance, Unforgiving Whistle-blower Of A Pastry.

I Wanted To Be An Archaeologist. But In School You Have To Take A Tremendous Amount Of Statistics For That, And I Am Not Good At Statistics. So I Hit A Real Wall With Archaeology. It's Probably Like Wanting To Be An Architect - You Think It's All Fun And Games, And Then You Have To Get Out A Calculator And You're Done.