Every Closed Eye Is Not Sleeping, And

My Eleven Year Old Daughter Mopes Around The House All Day Waiting For Her Breasts To Grow.

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

Those Who Criticize Our Generation Forget Who Raised It.

People Can Be More Forgiving Than You Can Imagine. But You Have To Forgive Yourself. Let Go Of What's Bitter And Move On.

I Can't Even Talk The Way These People Talk. 'why You Ain't?' 'where You Is?' Everybody Knows It's Important To Speak English Except These Knuckleheads. You Can't Be A Doctor With That Kind Of Crap Coming Out Of Your Mouth.